legosgurl

01:12 am: ALASKA
so i am in alaska now. anchorage is where my apartment is. nathan and i are doing pretty well on our own. its kinda odd being able to do whatever you want whenever you want and i start to know what my parents meant when they said that there werent enough hours in a day. i start school here tomorrow which is pretty cool. i only have two credits to get before i graduate because i have to take gym and alaska history here other than that i just have to take economics. its alot different here and there are alot of moose just kinda runnin around. its kinda cool. speakinging of cool it is so cold here. its more of a dry cold so it is really easy to get frostbite so you have to be careful. other than the weather and the obvious money troubles of moving across the country to be on our own...we are doing pretty well. the only thing that really sucks is nathan has to go to do artic training for 17 days tomorrow and it is - 35 to -60 where he is going so it really kinda worries me but i always worry about him and this army stuff. i hope to hear from you all soon and sorry if i dont get back to you right away. i dont really have alot of time to get to the computer to check this stuff but ill try my best. later! : )

06:38 am: model....
so yesturday i was listening to the radio on my way to school and heard that there would be a model search at the state theatre in bay city and i was like oooh thats cool but too bad i have to work. so i went to school and at about 2 o' clock i got a voicemail from my manager saying the party i was supposed to do cancelled so i could have the night off. so i was like oooh thats cool too. then i thought about it and was like why dont i go to bay city and try out for the model search. so i got all dolled up and left for bay city. i got there and signed in and was number 133. we had to walk the run way like 4 times and then they picked the top 33. i was in the top 33 and i was like well im happy with that. top 33 out of 200 and something is pretty good. but then they narrowed it down to the 15 who would get a modeling contract with the first photo shoot being for a wedding gown magazine in about two weeks. and I GOT PICKED. last night at about 8 o' clock ...yours truely got signed to a modeling contract. one of the models and the editor of vouge were the judges. it was crazy . there were a few more judges but i didnt know who they were. anyway my photo shoot is next week so im really nervous. its something to pass the time until nathan comes home at least though. wow...i am officially a real magazine, runway MODEL!

03:09 pm: bummer
this week has been a real bummer so far. nathan left on monday which obviously tore me apart but then we get the call that he is most likely going to iraq in october which really really sucks ass. he would be gone for a year and able to visit home for 12 days after serving 6 months. that is way too long to be away from nathan. things have gotten pretty hard but i guess we just have to keep on keepin on. as nathan always says,"if we didn't have bad luck, we'd have no luck at all." i miss him alot.....plans have changed and we are getting married over spring break in the court house and then having a big wedding whenever we can next year depending on if he gets deployed or not. please pray nathan doesnt get deployed...thats all i would want for christmas!

09:55 pm: omg!
nathan is home and i am so happy. i get him to be home for thanksgiving....thats something to be thankful for! no christmas at the homestead tho...hopefully going to alaska..it would be a very white christmas and a very happy one. no matter what my baby won't spend christmas alone even if i have to talk to him all day. (sigh) what a week..tired..worked out alot, going to bed soon...i think.

08:38 pm: count downs
my birthday is on the 13th! and i get to see nathan on the 18th! oh man its all coming up!

04:51 pm: Info about the wedding...
so the wedding date is set for July 1, 2006.
plz reply to this or e-mail me (freakyb2161@yahoo.com), or even call my cell ( 714-0186) to tell me if you would like to attend the wedding. i know you may think "oh well she will invite me anyway" but i am known to forget to do or invite many important people just because i thought i sent an invitation. so plz just send me a quick shout out and i will add your name to the wedding list right away so i dont forget and think your already there. we already have almost 200 people attending the wedding according to our lists so i loose track of who i invited and didnt yet. so give me a shout out. thanks <3

10:40 am: wedding date
the wedding is set for july 1st. look for updates now until july. only 9 months until i get married. its crazy....i can't wait. i will be able to be with nathan forever..dream come true...

10:51 am: what a week...
this week has been total hell. first off, nathan left and i have been having a really hard time with it. it was so nice having him home and at first the fact that he was gone again for a while didnt hit me really hard. as the days go on though, i miss him so much i just cry all the time. it could be because i am not living at home anymore. thats right...i got my ass kicked out. i dont even really know the extent of why but i know it has to do with my dad being mad that nathan and i decided to change from getting married in a year and a half to getting married in a year. my dad said we lied to get his approval. that is really not true. things changed once we found out that nathan could possibly go to italy or alaska for his base after airborne. we now found out as of yesturday he is being based in alaska. great....thats all i need. him to not be only a couple thousand miles away but across the US. i am going to go to heritage on monday because we think i have enough credits to graduate early from there as long as i can get my english done. that would be awesome! so i am now living with nathan's family. which is kinda hard because now there is no way to try to clear my mind of the fact that nathan is not home. whenever i come in the door i miss him waiting there or coming into the hallway to greet me with a hug and a kiss. everyone pray for me cause i am having a really hard time right now and also pray for nathan that he stays safe and makes it through this military hell and we can start a life together. one day we can stop all this saying goodbye and grow old together....one day....

03:23 pm: cry.....
nathan left for ft. benning, georgia again today to go to airborne school. he will be jumping out of planes for three weeks and then i get to see him around my birthday and then he is shipped to his base. it could now be s. carolina/ italy/ or alaska...plz pray for s. carolina guys!!!! anyway it was really tough to let him go but as the days go on it gets closer to when i dont have to say bye anymore and i can travel with him. man, i love this guy. please pray for him and his safety and me and my sanity while he is gone. thanks <3

08:29 pm: wow...
two words.....im engaged..

05:34 pm: oh yea!
so im sitting here on this really hott guys lap. yea that hot guy is nathan! omg he is sooo fine girls but he is mine! its so nice to have him home and cant wait until he is home for good....not really wanting to type right now so lata bitches.

04:11 pm: YAY!!!!!!!!!
NATHAN IS HOME! i am so happy that nate is home for a while. life just gets better from here.

01:30 pm: sigh......
this past 18 weeks have really been an up and down expierience. with only three days left and nathan is then done at ft. benning and coming home for 20 days. his leave got shortenend along with everyone elses so that really sucks. at least i get to see him tho. i have learned these past couple months what it feels like to cry, be completely misunderstood, and feel like i have no one to turn to. everytime i got down though there was always someone there to pick me up. thank you so much for that. thanks alot to wojee, padhma, bryce, becky, mario , colleen, and rich for everything that you have done to keep me smiling and i still need it as nathan starts the next phase of his army life at fr. hood, texas. just wanted to take the time to say thank you cause i love you all and you are cherished friends. : )

05:09 pm: someone just tell me everything is gonna be okay....

07:38 pm: yay!
not much to say but this day seems like it will never end....ZZZZZZzzzzzz...and 6 DAYS TIL I GO GET NATHAN!

04:14 pm: so close.....
only 7 days until i leave to go see nathan. and thats only a week which is not that long...not much news so for today ill leave the song lyrics to describe my feelings...laters : )

clearly i first saw you
smiling in the sun
wanna feel your warmth upon me
i wanna be the one

i will remember you
will you remember me
dont let your life pass your by
we now fall to memory

im so tired that i cant sleep
standing on the edge is something much so deep
its funny how i feel so much, and i cant say a word
we are screaming inside, but we cant be heard

i will remember you
will you remember me
dont let your life pass you by
we known for all the memories

so afraid to love you
more afraid to loose
klinging to a past that doesnt let me choose
once there was a darkness
a deep and endless night
you gave me everything you had, you gave me life

i will remember you
will you remember me
dont let your life pass you by
we now fall into memory

i will remember you
will you remember me
dont let your life pass you by
we now fall into memory

06:29 pm: ....?....
so homecoming week is coming up...doesnt really mean much for me since im not going to homecoming. the game or the dance. i decided i would much rather work and save up money for when nathan is home. still no suggestions or ideas of something special to do for nate when he comes home. that sucks. its only 9 day til we leave for Georgia to see him! its coming up pretty fast, thank God! i just hope once he gets here it will go slow but of coarse it wont. it will go faster than i could ever imagine and then that will suck. but at least i get to see him. i am trying to find some good seats at the palace so we can go to a pistons game. there are some pretty good ones but i am trying to find better ones. nathan loves prince so i am gonna try to get us as close as possible so we can actually see the faces of the players. anyway please help me on a cute idea for nate for when he finally gets home! not much other news except that i got a raise at work which is really cool and i work almost everyday this week which is also cool cause it will make the week go faster! : ) i hope to hear from ya'll soon! laters and happy homecoming nouvel!

03:12 pm: brrrr..
its so cold today. its all rainy and depressing out. i went to SCC this morning and i just wanted to sleep so bad. i love to sleep when it is raining and all i kept thinking was about all those lucky bastards at nouvel who were at home sleeping and i was at school. it sucked. besides that i had to take a test. which i did pretty well in. then i got into a words fight with an arthur hill person and kept thinking "beth just shut up before she pulls out a gun." so i just shut up and let her make a fool of herself. then the bell finally rang and i got to go home and sleep somemore. only 11 days until i leave to go see nathan graduate and then get to take him home! i am so proud of him and really excited to get him home again. its gonna be so nice to have him home again and Lord knows that we will be together all the time. trust me...we will make up for our lost time. i have to work here soon but figured i would update the ol' LJ and then go get ready. i wonder if anyone really reads this thing. hey if you read this just leave a stupid comment or tell me or something cause im just curious to see how many people actually are interested in my life. laters! : )

02:59 pm: sigh....
okay so homecoming plans are off..for more than one reason. so here they are...1) dambro decided that he didnt want to go due to the fact that his gf freaked when she heard he was going with me. 2) im not gonna have fun w/o nathan so why even go 3)i would rather work. so yesturday i got a good raise at work which is really cool. for those who dont know i decided to not talk to roger for a while after a big fight that we got into and so he ended up text messaging me last night and so i ended up talking to him that night and basically told him that the security of nathan and my relationship is more important to me than our friendship..i know it sounds harsh but you would have had to see the fight and what all went down last sunday night. basically roger let one of his friends rip me apart because he was drunk and angry at his girlfriend..if nate would have been there the secone that kid opened his mouth and started saying shit to me, nate would have laid his ass out. so lets just say that kid should feel very lucky. but roger just stood there and let this kid say all this shit to me and he should have said something cause i obviously cant go up against a guy. but anyway that was only a small part of why i was/kinda still am mad at roger. im not gonna let it really bother me tho. one thing that really sucks is that nouvel has a teacher's inservice day tomorrow so we dont have school, but i am at SCC for the morning so i still have to wake up and go to SCC and then i get to go home. i would rather just sleep in. so the time is ticking down and there is only 13 days until i get to leave for georgia to see nathan. i know yesturday said 15 days but i was actually adding a day because now we are leaving a day earlier so we dont have to drive the whole trip in one day... trust me that trip is a killer. i am trying to think of something really sweet to do for nathan when he comes home, like a night with just the two of us...any suggestions then leave me a comment tellin me what to do cause i have no idea! i want it to be special though, to show him how much i love him and that i am soooo happy he is home. i have alot of homework to do over the weekend which kinda sucks. i now do not have to worry about running around and trying to get all my homecoming stuff together though which is a plus. anyway i am gonna go take a nap and eat cause i am so tired and hungry.....<3<3<3<3<3 13 DAYS!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!

03:32 pm: lalalala
so today was a pretty interesting day to say the least. so i got a homecoming date....its actually gonna be really cute. i am going with a freshman who has this big crush on me and asked me in front of a bunch of people and i thought it was really cute so i said yes. he is alot shorter than me so i think it will funny. i cant go with nathan obviously cause he wont be home but only 15 days until i see him! when you say it it doesnt seem like a long time but the days go by soooo slow and then of coarse when i am with him, time will fly and i will have to let him go again...and once again my heart will have to break til i see him again. i hvae to go to work in like half an hour and i am at kid check where you just stand there and make sure people leave with who they came in with and it is sooooo boring...oh well. laters